Why do people get divorced?
At the beginning there are
declarations of affection, sweet nothings, shared plans for the future,
beautiful wedding, honemoon, big house, children, everyday life... But then
something gets wrong and the avalible solution, so unexpexted, comes to life.
Divorce. Why? Why do people get divorced?
Here are 10 responses
from people, who went through this process.
- The women who couldn’t imagine to have kids with her husband. "I realized that I wouldn't trust him to take care of any kids we might have someday. And then I realized, if I felt that way, why would I trust him around me?"
- The man who realised that he had married a narcissist. "We divorced because she knew I had her figured out. She couldn't manipulate me and control me anymore. Once I understood narcissism, it was over."
- A couple who just has grown apart. "We were married for eight years. I think we both knew it wasn't forever. I loved her dearly and she loved me. However, there was always something we couldn't provide each other. We just ended up growing apart and fell into gap that was never going to close. I have no regrets with the marriage. I have two wonderful girls, one of which I adopted that was hers with another man. We are still good friends and talk daily. We have our arguments but for the most part, we get along great for ex-spouses and people are always impressed by it. I still spend the holidays with her family even though she is in another relationship. I get along great with him, too."
- Cheating. "We found out that I couldn't have kids without some expensive science getting involved. She couldn't handle that, and took matters into her own hands and got pregnant by someone else. I was prepared to forgive her behavior up until that point. She wanted to come back later, but burned bridges and all..."
- Married too young. "I was too young and we simply couldn't make it work. We became different people from who we were when we first met and had a fairly amicable split. One of our main problems was that we had never really discussed the future properly (…) and I think we both assumed a lot about each other's priorities. For example, I am very urban and he wanted us to move to the countryside. Neither of us was 'wrong,' we simply weren't right for each other."
- Too dependent. "During the 10 years we were together, he never held a job for very long. At first, I believed his excuses (it was never his fault) and I tried to be supportive. But it got to be too much. (…) The last two years we were married, I was working two jobs (…) and he was unemployed for about a year. Did he help out at all around the house? Nope. (…) I finally got smart and left."
- Married for the wrong reason."We got a divorce because we never should have gotten married in the first place. But we wanted 'the dream.' It's amazing how many people of my generation this happens to. Thankfully, we realized it for ourselves before children were involved."
- Couldn’t bear the criticism. "We stopped wanting the same things in life and I grew tired of constantly being criticized. I didn't think the commitment [of marriage] required me to feel broken."
- She didn’t grow up. "We were incompatible on an emotional level. I kept hoping she would grow up. She didn't. She stayed the same person I married. Go figure. A year of couples therapy, six months of personal therapy for me, 15 years and three kids later we got divorced."
- Passionless marriage. "I had a comfortable and 'nice' marriage for 11 years. I'm not sure if we were ever passionate, but by the end, we were much more like good companions who had maintenance sex once a week. The she had an affair with a co-worker and I realized I wasn't really in love and happy anymore."
The statistics are horrible.
According to Central Statistical Office, in 2013 in Poland 66,1 thousands
(36,7% of newly weedings) divorces took place. In 2004, the given reasons were:
incompatibility – 32%, cheating – 24%, alkohol – 23%, reprehensible attitude to
family members – 9%, financial problems – 9%, other – 3%.
In my opinion our generation used
to replace something and got „ the new model” than try to fix the old one. It
also reffers to relationships. But on the other hand, sometimes there is
nothing to rescue and it is better just to let it go. As always, everything
depends on the context.
Do you know more
reasons?
What do you think
about this topic?
Sources:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/21/why-people-get-divorced-_n_6200210.html
http://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rozw%C3%B3d
http://moneyzoom.pl/blog/tag/rozwod/
I think that it is sad that so many couples get divorced... I would like to believe that true love still exist and you could be with someone till death. Why now there is more divorces than it used to be in the past? Maybe because people are more independant now, they have well-paid jobs and places to go so it is easier to make the decision to left. But maybe it is because people care less? They don't treat marriage seriously, when the troubles appear they don't fight, they just quit like another job...
ReplyDeleteLike Eliza has said, there are so many divorces, because a lot of couples don't treat their marriages seriously. They don't care about their relationships, they work a lot and they don't have time to share their problems, passions, successes, etc. People are changing whole life. If someone don't want to know their partner, later he realises that he has nothing in common with him/her except mortgage.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion it wouldn't be so many divorces, if people would be 100% sure they want to be always together. Why they get married at a young age, when they can wait and "see each other". Many people get married simply because they are pregnant and tradition this require. Later, when the emotions subside they realize that they don't fit and there is a problem. In my opinion people can't make a hasty decision, marriage is a serious matter.
ReplyDeleteNowadays we hear more and more about divorces, and I agree with you that it's quite big problem. So first of all people don't care about their relationships, they prefer buying new things than try to repair old one. And we think a lot of about our careers and work too much ( we are really selfish)
ReplyDeleteNowadays divorces are a global problem, especially for West culture. People do not treat marriage with serious approach. Why people get divorced? Answer is simple. Before weeding person live to short with partner and they can not get to know each other.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, more and more people get divorced. From my point of view one of the most common reason, which pushes couples to make a decision like this is their past. People who have experienced a marital breakdown are more divorce-prone. For the vast majority of people a divorce appears a simple lifestyle choice. They would rather drift apart than do their best so as to save their relationship.
ReplyDeletePeople get divorced very often these days, especially in high developed countries, people are getting married because of an impulse and soon they are getting divorced just in the same way. Mostly it's because of their careers, people think that it is more important for them to built a succesfull career in some corporation than creating a family. I think it's very sad that people don't treat themselves seriously.
ReplyDeleteIn today's world people live in a hurry. They often forget about the most valuable things in life, such as love. There are more and more divorces and this is really sad. Thinking about reasons of this situation I am reaching a conclusion that the problem lies in the way into which people perceive marriage. In the past it was something really important, something which lasted till the end of life... Nowadays people look at it in more... "loose" way. Divorce isn't a reason for a shame - it becomes something compeletely normal. Your wife is irritating you? There is no point to try to change this situation! Divorce is so much easier.. That is how people think about relationships today. We suffer from the lack of essential priorities and that is a problem.
ReplyDeleteAs I have written in presentation, many people are not use to stay in long term relationships. They think that next relationship would be better, without troubles. But usually It is not true, the problems stay the same. So before decision of leaving somebody, we should think about it carefully and try to fix problems at least once. We shouldn't give up too easily.
ReplyDeleteI think that people are not really into monogamous relationships and that is why more and more people are getting divorced. Once we came to the idea that marriage is not something that lasts for ever the rate of divorces increased and in my opinion it will rise even more as we are getting less attached to christian traditions.
ReplyDeleteI don't have more reason. For me a lot of these arguments aren't reason to divorce. I think that many people don't think before get married - they only feel emotions, rarely they talk about future, family's problems. Often they don't want see vices of their partner. A lot of divorces are effect of irresponsible decisions. I think that people often take the easy way out and instead of solving a problem, they prefer divorcing.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion good argument to divorce is situation when one of partners do harm his or her family and everyone do something to improve situation and it didn't achieve ressult.
I think it's normal. At age 25 people can not promise that the rest of their life will love the other person. They would like to, but can not promise that. We don't know who we know for 5, 10 or 15 years. We can try, but to me, this promise does not make sense. The second reason is the fact that in marriage couples caring about themself, because they know that this person is already their "forever". They don't longer have to try. And, of course, that many couples before marriage have lived together permanently, and when settled, it turned out that is not so rosy.
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ReplyDeleteFor me marriage is, itself, a bad decision, but if you already made that choice and it is not working out - get a divorce. It is a normal thing, as somebody above said, people know each other too little, I know some who even don't live togheter and are already engaged. People don't know each other's habits etc and sometimes, after deeper knowledge they start to hate the other one. And worst thing for me is staying togheter for children. It is even worse, fighting and arguing all the time doesn't help your kids. Know the fact.
ReplyDeleteI think that divorces and generally breaking up is a difficult subject because each case is different. When two people see that something is wrong or when they feel that partner is not 'the one' for a lifetime it is better to get divorced than to regret it and wonder 'if I would ever met Mr. Right'. We all make mistakes but life is too short to leave situation just how it is. Some people say that it is better to regret doing something than to regret not doing it. I agree with them.
ReplyDeleteThese days it is hard to imagine the ideal family which consist of children and both parents. Mainly, it is caused by some mistakes made by the couple. Why? It is said that marriage in young age is the worst reason why people can’t stand the pressure, failures, agreement or even new family member. Saying “yes” and walking down the aisle can be really stressful and binding. That’s why you have to think twice before you undertake marriage. Sometimes, there is also some problems with hatred to children. These days, women are independent and focused on achieving a success or developing themselves. They don’t want to have a children because it is connected with maternity leave which forces them to stay at home and abandon work. This reason is a great way to having an argument. Sometimes, there’s also a different problem. It is connected with a lack of ability to give birth to child.
ReplyDeleteCheating, betraying, telling lies are the worst things which a couple can experience. If you can’t trust somebody, it is really impossible to continue a relationship.
Some people are immature to have a deeper relationship between a human who they expect that love. In my opinion, a couple made by a unripe human – almost teenager and human who is too much older is not a good idea. Sometimes it is caused because of the fact that one of them is wealthy. That’s why this kind of marriage should be unhealthy and bogus.
When it comes to this topic, it cannot be denied that it is really hard to say something when you don’t have any experience. Now, I’m not ready to get married. It is really unthinkable to walk down the aisle in the coming future. Now I’m immature and focused on deepening my knowledge and looking for some internships. At first it is really important to find a job and get a stabilization and then start thinking about establishing a family.
Spending whole life with the same person? Sounds like a nightmare? The statistics show the divorces are more and more common. Our generation is constantly seeking 'better, bigger, more'. We are used to replaicing things when they don't work. The same with people. However the simply way is rarely the right way. When it gets tough the couple need to fight for this love. I believe we have to be more responsible for our choices.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand when things get worse and worse I don't see a point in being in realationship without perspective. Marriage is supposed to bring happiness. When it doesn't anymore that's the reason to divorce.
I think that nowadays marriage is becoming a bit more commercialised. People want the big reception, the house with a white picket fence, the big car and the dog. They don't actually care much for marriage as much as they do for the lifestyle that comes with it. Additionally, there's the entire 'we can always get a divorce' mentality thats demeaning the importance of marriage in the first place. I think if people waited a bit more with marriage instead of jumping straight into it, then there would be less disappointments. Many people fall out of love when their relationship isn't as fresh as it used to be, or it simply turns out that they have different goals in areas they would have not thought about before, such as having children or settling down into a house.
ReplyDeleteDivorce is in most cases a huge disaster for both: a married couple and of course for children. We are getting married to be together for the rest of our life. If you don't want to spend your whole life with one person - do not get married. Of course - accidents happend. The interesting reason of divorces is that, the spouse before marriage act someone diffrent, and after weeding you realise that your lover is not a person who you married.
ReplyDeleteI think that in case of divorces we need to blame our culture. We are not trying to repair whats broken, we are tossing it away and looking for something new.
ReplyDeleteThe other reason for divorce might be money. Such "marriege traps" doesnt happen very often, but I have heard of them to take place. Poor one finds rich victim and fools the rich one in marriage. After divorse, if there were no prenuptial agreement, wealth is dived equally between both spouses. I elieve marriage should happen only between two people who trust each other with no hook line and sinker and who love each other. In such situation no divorces would take place.
ReplyDeleteDivorces, in my opinion, are also caused because people are changing. You may marry right person, but after years you both are different and maybe don't fit. It's not a fault or failure. I think that presentation includes a lot of important reasons why people are divorcing. The statistic is sad, but on the other hand maybe after divorce, seprated people are happiest and build their better life?
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ReplyDeleteA funny reason for divorce, popular in TV shows, is when one of the spouses turns homosexual. It was used in at least two American TV shows, Friends (Ross and his wife, Carol, who becomes a lesbian and takes a new parrtner in marriage, Susan) and Two and a Half Men (Alan and his wife Judith, who tells him she is a lesbian, however, after a couple episodes she begins to date their child's doctor, who is a man).
ReplyDeleteI think divorces are caused by today's immature culture.
I think that nowadays people want to be much more independent, both men and women, therefore they don’t see the point to stay in toxic or unsatisfactory relationship. The sad thing is that so many divorces are due to cheating, lying and immature behavior. Maybe that is really true that humans are not monogamous and we just have to accept that divorces and separations are natural and obvious?
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that people after few years decide to get divorced. It's the proof that people before marriage should get to know each other. Sometimes the best way to understand partner is living together. Furthemore, each one of us has different aspirations, which somietimes provide to the conflicts in relationship. The truth is, marriage rely on a trust and compromise.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why nowadays so many people are getting divorced. Instead of trying to solve their problems, they give up. How can you give up on someone you love? Are you really that lazy? I always felt sorry for my friends whose parents got divorced. I feel so lucky that my parents still love each other and that is how they raised me.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that nowadays marriage is undervalued. My parents belived that if something does not work we try to fix it, not give up. I think people get divorced because they are disappointed about their life and want a change.
ReplyDeleteI trust when people get merried they love each other. They have bad days when match argue, they must try arrive at agreement or hold on when emotions subside. I do not know other reasons why people divorced.
ReplyDeleteNowadays a lot of people get divorced and it is seriously sad for me. I think that these reasons are the most common one. People just stop loving and respecting each other. I hope I will not have to get divorced in the future. I think that when we take a decision about marriage, we should be really sure and aware of it.
ReplyDeleteFor me, marriage is one of the biggest, the most important decisions we make during our whole lives. And I can't stand hearing that people said 'yes' to the person they don't really know! And in time of course they get divorced. One year is too less to get to know people decently. It needs a lot of time. And we still can't be sure enough about them. Divorce is really needful institution, but people used to trespass on it.
ReplyDeleteFor me it's really difficult to realize such a big number of divorces. I was growing in a two-parent family. Thanks to my parents I have the greatest example of ideal relationship. They are together for 25 years. I have never see or hear any misunderstandings or quarrels between them. I think the secret of strong relationship is in such things like unconditional love, common goals and mutual respect. I wish everybody has such a happiness and maybe luck just to find right match.
ReplyDeleteMany girls from my school got married because of the pregnancy. And almost all of that spousals went through the process of divorce after 2 years. It's really sad for me, but on the other hand nobody is guilty except them.
I think that people think too much about themselves. They are self-centered and don't want to understand the other person. When people are arguing with each other, the top takes negative emotions and selfish thinking. Sometimes people should forget about themselves and think about the other side.
ReplyDeleteI heard about people who get divorced because they couldn't have children. The woman was healthy, but man don't want to be examined and the thought that it was woman's "fault". After 10-year marriage, they got divorced. Now she is happy and she is raising a 2 year old boy with her new boyfriend. The man lives alone.
ReplyDeleteI think that sometimes is better to get divorced than poison each other's lives. But such approach should be implemented only if there are things, which married people really can't handle. Nowadays we replace things instead of fixing them, but in my opinion marriage (as one of the most important thing in life) requires trying and fighting for it.
Personally I think that the tradition of getting married and having buzzing beautiful wedding will die out in the future. Nowadays, I hear more and more young people saying that marriage is innocence and unneccesary thing which only tether you. To me, it is sad as I think it is such a beautiful tradition. I understand that there are divorces because someone got married too young or it turned out that they do not love their partner. But there is no hurry. You can get married in every age if you are ready and 100% sure of your spouse.
ReplyDeleteIn this text there are a lot of divorces reasons, but someone forgot about violence. In some marriage there are bullying, arguing and violence. Women were afraid to speak loud about this situations, but recently it is changing and more and more women are trying to escape from "horror house".
ReplyDeleteI think this topic is actual, because every year there are more and more divorces. Times are changing and nowadays nobody wants to stay in bad relationship.
Divorces are a difficult topic. In my opinion, they are extremely difficult especially for children whose parents are divorcing. Unfortunately, more and more couples are deciding to take such a step. I think that this is a defect of our time - we are freeing to throw something away instead of repairing it. People prefer simple solutions. It is better to divorce and get rid of a problem in this way than to try to rebuild the relationship. Nowadays, many couples develop their knowledge very quickly, after a few months they can live together. In my opinion, in this way, they are not able to get to know each other well enough to be able to include such a serious relationship as marriage. I hope that people will start to make friends more responsibly so that nobody will have to suffer because of them.
ReplyDeleteToday people are in a hurry, they focus on their career and want to develop yourselves all the time. They forget about people who are close to them and neglect relationship with others. In addition, I think that people like easy life today. When they have problems, they don’t fix it but decided to get divorce. I think the main reasons for divorce can be: financial problems, distant relationship or the assumption that work is more important than the family.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a lot of more reasons why people are getting divorce. One of them can be that they got married from duty. Some of marriages are still arranged. Sometimes people just don't feel happy in the relationship. I think divorce is a very hard and sad topic for people. If you decide to marriage someone you have a hope that you will be with this person forever. It must be very hurtful when you are at the point when you feel that you choose a wrong person, or person that you've loved cheated on you.
ReplyDeleteI think that people get divorced because of the fact that they can't talk with each other. They don't know what to do, when they have some troubles. The communication in relationships is the most important thing - but people believe than love is enough. Love is also very important, but without communication it doesn't work - people argue, cheat or find other person because they can't talk with the partner. This fact causes other reasons of getting divorced - like cheating, end of love and so on.
ReplyDeleteA new topic where I will be again controversial ... To be honest, I think that there're a lot of divorces because people aren't monogamists. The majority of marriages in the world are polygamist marriages. It's a natural phenomenon. Usually one husband has many wives for procreation. Why do women agree to such conditions? Because thanks to this, their children can get the genes of a rich and resourceful man instead of the genes of poor and lazy man, who is a single because no one want to marry him. When people live in harsh conditions, eg. where are very harsh winters - one man isn't able to take care of a woman. Then the number of marriages with one woman and several men arise- most often brothers. But there're few countries where there's one woman and one man in the marriage. This is extremely popular in Europe, but that doesn't mean that people won't succumb to human nature and betray their partner. I know it sounds terrible. Personally, I'm in a relationship - what I wrote doesn't mean that I want to cheat on my boyfriend. I'm sure I won't do it. I believe that people can control themselves, but as we can see in the statistics - not everyone is successful.
ReplyDeleteIn general the first reason that should be shown here is women being less dependent on men. People in age like my grandparents used to think that woman cannot handle here life on her own, she shouldn't work at any job, she should give birth to children and do the house works. Right now, it's clear that it has changed. Women won't stay with the man because they are not told(so much) anymore that they will not survive without a man. Women used to be pushed to thinking that they have to stay in the relationship even if they don't want to. Now they know they don't have to spend rest of their days just because that's the rule in society.
ReplyDeleteI agree with reason mentioned in the article. Cheating, misunderstanding each other, being too young when you get married those are all good reasons to split. I don't think that divorce is something good. But if both sides want that what's the problem? People should split if they don't get along. The worst thing you can do to yourself is living the life you hate with people you don't care about.
To my mind there is a lot of reasons why people get divorced. It is hard to list them all. I think reasons mentioned in this text are most common. In my opinion if people can't get along with themselves, they do not love each other divorce is better way than beeing in relationship. Sometimes when people are trying to figure out what's wrong with their relationship it direct to more problems and argues.
ReplyDeleteFor me, this topic has always been a mystery, because I grew up in a family where there was never a divorce. All the bad things that happened in marriages were repaired. Now I see how many of my friends' parents are divorced and absolutely I do not think it's bad. However, I personally think that in today's world, people are divorcing for bland reasons. Nobody is trying to fix what broke down. "When a light bulb breaks, they prefer to buy a new flashlight, rather than replace a used light bulb."
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion sometimes divorce is necessary even if it is very hard decision. A lot of people are remain in unhappy relationships with hope that something will change and everything will be fine without any help. Sometimes you just have to go your own, new way. People often get married in young age and they dont know each other very well and this causes serious misunderstandings. For me, the best recipe for happy relationship without quarelling is getting married because of love and real friendship, not because of fascination.
ReplyDeleteI think that this post gave a lot of the main reasons why people are divorcing. In addition, there are such things as inadequate parenting by the partners (for example, a man who is so-called Peter Pan or is too attached to the mother), problems such as bankruptcy, alcoholism, and learning the "second love of his life".
ReplyDeleteDivorce is very hard and sad topic. I hope, I'll never get a divorce because is a terrible thing. It is like breaking the most important and intimate promise in the world.
ReplyDeleteI think, the violence and addictions can be often reasons of the divorces. Maybe at the begginging of the problem people think '' ah, he or she will change, it's just a while'', but sometimes the problem is getting worse and situation can't get better. In this case it is better to divorce than live in the pathological relationship.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, divorces are a huge problem for Europe. In some cases, reason could be consumerism and thinking connected with that, when something doesn’t work, don’t repair that – buy new one. The same could happens with the marriage, they even don’t try, don’t talk. Problem of „not talking” also occurs before marriage, people don’t discuss the future, about their plans, and due to that they realise that they did huge mistake. To me, everyone should talk a lot with partner before the marriage, show him plans for future and decide – Is it worth?
ReplyDeleteFor me people should wait at least five years before getting married not even saying about having children. After that time they will get to know themselves well and decide what to do. People are getting married too soon and this may lead to toxic relationships. When it comes to divorces for me if people don't get along they should do this as soon as posible so as not to ruin their lives and people around them.
ReplyDeleteThe reason that popped into my head immediately when I opened this blog post was divorce because of alcohol addiction of one of the partners. I’ve heard a lot of stories about men, who after some years of happy relationship start to drink a lot and marriage ends.
ReplyDeleteI think in this days it’s hard to stay in a relationship because we have many more opportunities. People my age started using dating apps and this made them not take these relationships seriously. Now everything is faster and people are able to make quick changes. We are not staying in a marriage like our grandparents only because we have kids and we want them to have “real” family. I think that we need to be real with our partner and this is the key to the happy marriage.
I think that the min reason why people get divorced it that they can't love. They imagine that a life is like in a fairy tale, but next they are disappointed about reality.
ReplyDeleteI think that they should better prepare to marriage.
I think that possible reasons of divorce can be as many as marriages. It’s impossible to present them all. Generally speaking I believe people get divorced because they are too mature or selfish and it’s sometimes easier way than try and try again.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with statement that our generation use to replace something and got „ the new model” than try to fix the old one. People increasingly decide to change a partner rather than work on themselves or make compromise. Sharing live with another person is not easy. There are many areas where conflicts may occur. According to statistics most commonly divorces took place because of incompatibility. „Incompatibility” may be interpreted in a number of ways. Couples may have various mind about bringing up children, ways of spending time together, division of responsibilities, home budget management and much more. Not always it is possible to notice these differences before getting married.
ReplyDeleteThe article is about a great problem of modern people - the divorce. The author describes come reasons for the divorce. Here can be many reasons for the divorce. This happens when a couple feels that something is wrong in their common life and start to quarrel more and more. As we can see, the greatest problems for the divorce are incompatibility, alcohol and cheating. There can also be some more reasons for divorce such as a lack of support etc. To my mind, the author is right that the young generation should change something in marriage to prevent divorces. But every person has his own attitude to marriage. Of course, it would be great to predict different situations before marriage, but it is almost impossible. The human’s character changes almost every year, especially among young people, and sometimes it can be unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteThere are way too many reasons people divorce because of. Sometimes its something serious, like cheating or abuse,but I've heard of people breaking up for good for the most petty of reasons. I feel like most of the people divorce because they've got married in an impulse, or after some time realized that they don't know their other half as well as they thought they do.
ReplyDeleteThese days this problem is serious. More and more people are divorced and it is believe to be quite normal. Not only perception of divorces is different than in the past but also people do not find marriage so important and do not feel so obligated than once. Obviously, there are a number of reasons why people split the sheets. The most crucial reason is that people are not dead sure if they want to be together forever. Another aspect is that nowadays people have so much duties that they have not enough time to provide for feelings. From my point of view marriage in young age is a problem. When people are young they do not think about duties and sacrifice. Getting to grips with reality can be a reason of quarrels.
ReplyDeleteI agree that today we prefer replacing things rather than fixing them but sometimes it’s just impossible to patch things up no matter how much effort you would put in it. These examples from post show that therapy is not a cure for everything. Okay, you can persuade your spouse to go to rehab, but if someone returns to addiction over and over again, you have to finally let go, you can’t forgive hurting your family forever, especially when if kids are involved. In my opinion we ignore importance of marriage and decide to go down the aisle too easy, without even thinking about cosequences. In discussions about divorces people often say that few decades ago this institution wasn’t that common and it’s true but it doesn’t mean that it used to be better. I believe that divorce has less negative results than being with someone you don't love and making him unhappy for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteI think the statistics clearly show what are the real problems. People are getting married for all the wrong reasons. How can you marry someone that you aren't compatible with? People are reckless and desperate, these are the biggest problems. Just because you feel big emotions for someone it doesn't mean that you will be able or should stay together for the rest of your lives. There can be many reasons why you was fascinated with someone and infatuation is not an ultimate prove that someone is the perfect partner.
ReplyDeleteAre people wayward these days? I'm not sure about that... Of course, there's some truth to the fact that people can't communicate and don't want to work on their marriage but let's also state the fact that back in the days it wasn't socially acceptable to get divorced. Very often couples would stay together even if they were absolutely unhappy in the relationship and women would stay with their partners even if the partner was abusive towards them, because it's 'not right to break a promise given to God' or it's 'bad for the kids to get divorced' or they were scared to be alone or of being seen as inappropriate or even they were unable to be financially independent.
Nowadays people have the privilege of choice, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
People are more aware of their value and more aware of their development and the changes that go with that.
I think the bigger question is how can we expect that we won't completely change our values, goals, beliefs, behavior while we are married? We can't expect from our partners that they will keep up with us and change in the same way.
Isn't the divorce inevitable in many cases? Maybe it's not a bad thing, it just means you need to start a new chapter in your life.
Unfortunately, divorces are more and more popular in our Western society. It is said to be caused by rising life-level so people do not want to tie up with somebody. In my opinion present people are more selfish than for example one hundred years ago and less and less people are able to give way to somebody in some sectors of family life.
ReplyDeleteFor me the main reason of divorces is the lack of communication. How the couple can know if they are comatible or not if they don't try to know and undestend each other before getting married. They do not talk enough. Secend thing is our mentality. If we are thinking only about our comfort not about community of men and women. About our satisfaction not about realtionship it seems to be more reasonable decision to get divorced not to try fix something. I think also premartial sex is conected with this issue. It often links with child and provide to the married of people who should go down to the aisle together. They are very close in phisically way but not in their minds. I think that families caring more about the neibghour opinions not the good of their realatives are also quilty of some false marriages and than divorces.
ReplyDeleteI think even though the topic ocncerns someone's lack of happiness, it's quite interesting. It's quite scary how many marriages end in divorce. I think that in many cases people get married too early, when they don't know each other enough. Also, there are cases where people have children together by accident, so they get married, and very often these marriages don't make sense and end after many years of unhappiness when people's lifes are already ruined.
ReplyDeleteI guess we are not able to count all the reasons why people get divorced. One of the most popular which wasn't mentioned in the text is also other worldview, especially when it comes to economy and finance. Generally people often argue about money, so they do in marriage. Of course love is important but we need to figure out how we are going to cope with reality, make for living but we often don't face these facts and it's a big issue of all times. I think before we decide to marry someone, we should consider all the situations mentioned in the blog if we want to avoid stress assiociated with courts.
ReplyDeleteI think that divorce is better than an unhappy marriage. I believe that many people just decided on getting married too fast and rashly and that why now things aren't working out. Also, I guess that people after marriage don't try as they used to when it comes to being a good partner to their other half.
ReplyDeleteFrom my point of view, fixing something that is broken for years won't always bring results that we want. Divorce is always harmful, especially if couple has children because then it doesn't only affects the couple but also kids. However, I don't think that children will be happier seeing their parents mad at themselves or not talking with each other. I kinda agree that for our generation it is easier to replace something than to fix it but is it always a bad thing? When people doesn't get on well why should they stay with each other and wait for a miracle or something? I believe that divorce isn't always a bad and also the most harmful solution.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, people get divorced because they act frivolously. I do not argue that people always got divorced and there was always a problem of frivolity, but now it has reached a completely new level. People do not recognize each other. And the problem is not with time, the problem is that people have forgotten how to recognize each other. Egoism is becoming a huge problem, society more and more often thinks only of its own happiness, pleasure, of its needs and of its own benefits. Increasingly, we hear words that no one owes anything to anyone, but this is far from the case. We must. Always owe to people with whom we are in some kind of relationship.
ReplyDeleteDo you know more reasons?
ReplyDeletesome people become addicted to things like alcohol or gambling
What do you think about this topic?
i think its better to be alone