There are worse things than being alone. But it often takes decades to realize this. And most often when you do, it's too late. And there's nothing worse than too late.
- Charles Bukowski
Being single may be the worst time of your life, but it can also be the best. For some, being single is loneliness, for others it means freedom and liberation. And what is the truth? How does it look like to be single? Is it really that bad?
Firstly, being single is better than being with the wrong person. Life is short, so we can't waste time on people who do not deserve it. Do not offer your emotions to anyone. Do not build a strong personality and confidence on the anger and disappointemnt, you should only keep a relationship that builds you, not ruins you.
When you're in a relationship, you put other person's needs above your own. When you're single, you have a right to be selfish! You can do what you want and when you want. You wake up and feeling like traveling? Nothing easier! Go, travel. You don’t feel like going out of bed today? I mean, stay there and rest. Feeling like pizza in the middle of the night? Bon Appetit! When you're single, you can actually live your life, try new things. There are no limitations, you are the master of your life, creating your own rules and deciding whether you want to live by them or not. How cool is that?!
Being single used to mean nobody wanted you. Now It Means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time Deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.
- Sarah Jessica Parker
I am sure that you are able to name more than one person who had big plans and dreams and then 'puff' -unhappy relationship. New plans and dreams, not necessarily desirable, not necessarily wanted. Sad? I know. Therefore, use your time being single on your passions and desires. Dive in and take the opportunity to do what you love. Fulfill dreams. Is it not what one day you would like for your children?
It's the time when you discover who you really are. You explore all of your strengths, your weaknesses, insecurities. Open to yourself, tear down all the armor. This will give you a unique knowledge that nothing can replace. This is what being single is all about, about learning who you are, why you are like this and who you want to be. I know, sounds deep. And it is.
Summaring, being single may be the most magical and productive time of your life. Exploring your own soul you're becoming healthier. There will be moments of sadness but c'mon, people in relationships have them too.
You can learn to value and adore yourself, and that's the most important foundation for every relationship.
Questions
1) What are your experiences on being single?
2) Is it ok, not to desire a relationship?
When it comes to my experiences connected with being single, it cannot be denied that I have some moments in my life when I was “alone”. Being a single allows to meet with some people without commitments, it is really pleasant because you don’t have to take care of your love, you aren’t obliged to be responsible for him.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, the best of being single is feeling free and achieving a kind of stabilization which is really important for independent people. You can also avoid some arguments, you have more time for yourself. You can be also more focused on your goals and achievements. It is said that relationships ruin concentration, that’s why being a single enables treasure the new-found freedom, you can realize that taking time for yourself can show what is the most important in your life. For example, studies show that experiencing something alone results in your brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.
"And even left alone one day, not gonna change, it's not my world". I don’t think that not desire a relationship is something wrong. But having a contact with people has many advantages. It is really important. It allows to develop yourself, create a kind of sensitivity and of course exclude being a social leper.
I don’t believe that being single or in a relationship has anything to do with living in a good and satisfactory way. It is a matter of personal choice. You can choose to be a crazy party animal or a silent seeker of harmony and balance but it doesn’t have anything in common with being in the relationship or not. Why do I have to be single to have pizza in the middle of the night or to travel or to do things spontaneously? Why do I have to change my plans and dreams, sacrifice them if I meet someone that I want to build a relationship with? If I must do that, it means that I am in toxic relationship with someone who does not support me. My hint is to be happy, to be ourselves, to fulfill our dreams no matter what. Single or not? Who cares.
ReplyDeleteHuman is born to live with some other people - it is obvious. In my opinion being a single is not a matter of choice but situation when you still don't find your other-half. But it cannot be a reason for frustration. A single must be patient and vigilant, to not miss his real opportunity.
ReplyDeleteBeing a single is not something to be ashamed. Some people prefer staying at home and do whatever they want like do hobbies, read an interesting book etc. On the other hand, people need each other so spending rest of their life with someone, make them happy and confident. However, it's not good to be in rush. Sooner or later, we find someone special to us.
ReplyDeleteBeing a single is not something to be ashamed. Some people prefer staying at home and do whatever they want like do hobbies, read an interesting book etc. On the other hand, people need each other so spending rest of their life with someone, make them happy and confident. However, it's not good to be in rush. Sooner or later, we find someone special to us.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paweł, that being a single shouldn't be something, which people are ashamed of. It's always matter of feelings. If you feel good with being single - it's fine, there is no crime about that. Of course people are created to spend life with other people, but being single is nothing bad - it is moment, when you haven't met anyone interesting enough.
ReplyDeleteI heard once that there are no bad couples but only those who cannot reach consensus. In my opinion because of todays people self-absorbation and selfishness spiced with todays "fast food" popculture we have got the biggest amount of divorces in history.
ReplyDeleteI know that a lot of single usually are saying they don't need love and relationship or other person to live... They are saying about freedom and welfare... But I don't believe them. I think that it's a bluff... There have to be a lot of misery and cry inside them. I sympathize them, and I think that one day they get a luck and find love of their life. I think that everybody desire a relationship. Somebody loves mother, brother or God for example, and they don't get married and have a glad life too.
ReplyDeleteI think that we should always enjoy our life and be happy no matter what, if we're single or in any relationship, first of all, we have to be satisfied with our personal life. It depends on the person, if they prefer to be single or with someone, some people just can't spend their life alone and other can't imagine be in the relationship for their whole life. As it was written, for some being single means loneliness, for others freedom. When I was a single I was super happy and I enjoyed my life as well, but I did in complelety other way than now when I can share everything with love of my life. But, on the other hand, I think that it's 100% okay not ot feel any desire to be in relationship. Not everyone has to be with someone, when I was single I didn't feel that I needed someone, I just fell in love when I met my boyfriend, that's it. I didn't plan it and in my opinion people shouldn't be sad if they are alone, they will find someone anyway. sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this text, but it is not that easy. When we are single we are free and we can do everything but deep down we try a love. We want to gather somebody up and feel prime. Actually I am single and I want to have a boyfriend. I know that I am young and I should live but I think that plenty of depend of individual character. Each of us need other things. Sometimes it is work, career, freedom or just love.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say for my own experience that being single is the best time of my life. I don’t have to ask anyone about opinion and I can decide on my own about future. I can go to a party when I want or go to the cinema for a movie which is funny or interesting for me. Relationship is never ending compromise and now I’m not ready for that, I want to feel freedom. I think that it’s not bad to not desire a relationship. Everyone needs different time to be ready for relationship and share life with someone. So if it’s not yet, it’s ok, maybe one day you will be ready for this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Joanna's post - being single or in a relationship hasn't anything to do with living in a good and satisfactory way. It's only your choice! Be yourself and do what you want to do in life. When you're in relationship, you can share your life, thoughts, emotions with somebody and this is wonderful. But when you're single, you have more time to yourself and to your hobbies. It's also nice.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was single, I had some moments when I felt sad and lonely, but generally I was happy and satisfied. Now, I have a boyfriend and it's great and I'm really happy. Everything it's depend on attitude to life, not from status.
Yes, I think it's okey, when somebody not to desire a relationship. Everybody needs something else. Maybe one day this person change mind?
I think nowadays being single or being in relationship doesn't need to picture your life! Big group of people now decide to be alone because it's easier for them - they don't need spend money for their "second part", they don't need to tell anybody what they are doing etc. In fact, I'm in happy relationship for four years and now I know I can't be single! For my it's normal to being most part of day with my boyfriend (because we are living together, we have got the same friends (mostly) and maybe I don't know HOW to live without him. This is kind of illness but I love it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't care if my friends have girlfriends/boyfriends or not, because if there is happiness in their life it's okay.
Well, being single after few years of relationship was hard and it took me some time to realize that being alone isn’t synonym for being lonely. I have possibility to do whatever and whenever I want. I am meeting a lot with my friends and even if sometimes I have nobody to go to concert or museum it’s still good because I learnt to feel good in my own company and that I don’t always need somebody to have nice time.
ReplyDeleteOf course it’s OK not to desire relationship. Why it wouldn’t be? There are people who feel good on their own or are afraid to trust or take care of somebody.
There is no worse thing that being under the pressure of being in a couple. I'm not perceiving love as something useless, because it's undeniably great feeling, but it should come naturally, not because of your old aunt who is asking you if you're engaged yet at every family event.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I can't agree with statement saying the relationship is a waste of time which you could use for your hobby or any other pleasure. For me, a partner should also be your friend and companion, with who you are sharing interests.
In my experience being single have different aspects.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree that being single give you a unique knowledge and chance to learn more about yourself. When being single you have enough time to listen to all your hidden voices shouting out.
But from the other hand I have such kind of character that I can develop, grow and live only when somebody lives in my heart.
I agree that being single is better thank being with a wrong person. I think being single not always comes with being alone. You can still have friends and family so you are not alone. Even people who are in a relationship feel lonely sometimes. Also not being in a relationship is in my opinion easier than being in it. You don't have to deal with arguments and you can do everything you want, without getting know about is to your spouse.
ReplyDeleteI think people are different and not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are in it that's okay and if you are not it's okay too. I don't think we should judge people on if they are single or not.
It isn't nice to be single. But in my opinion it isn't reason to be with a person whom you don't love or whose don't love you. I think that love is for people, to beglad them, not to captivate. So everybody can choose if he want spend life single or in pair. I can;t imagine to life alone forever, but I know that there is much people whose don't want to built so close attachment and in my opinion it is normal, totally OK.
ReplyDeleteI remember that when I was not in a relationship, my desire to have a partner changed often. Sometimes I wanted to have someone to be able to share with them my joys and sorrows, receive help in difficult times and just have someone who will always be close. However, there were days when I was happy to be single. I had time only for myself, I could devote myself to the thing that I only wanted - without any compromise. After all, I have been in a relationship for two years and I think that nothing better happened in my life. I wish everyone to find love. However, if someone feels that he is not given a life in a relationship, I think that he should just enjoy his life and maybe over time love will come.
ReplyDeleteBeing single doesn't mean being alone. Otherwise, when you're single you have time for your friends and family and you can meet new people all the time (and you are not afraid that your boyfriend will be jealous). It is really important to remember, that if you're single it doesn't mean you are bad or worthless. You shouldn't try to create relationship by force. You should be patient and use that time to discover, who you are and what you want.
ReplyDeleteThe difficulties of finding love often faces someone who has a complex personality, mostly because he is very demanding when it comes to love (because love is complex) and won't be hanging out with just anybody so as not to be alone. The person understands the deeper meaning of it, because of her own complexity, and decides to be single by choice, because is not afraid to be alone. Is happy and accepts this state. Her need has been denied by consciousness, but subconsciously still hopes to find real, lasting love without looking for it.
ReplyDeleteI think that being a single is suitable for people who like easy life. They can be independent and do everything what they want. I know some people who decided to be a single because they want to broaden their knowledge, having a career or travelling. On the other hand, being in a relationship just to have someone with you is unnecessary. Some people feel good on their own and being a single isn’t a problem for them.
ReplyDeleteTo my mind beeing single or beeing in the relationship should not forejudge our happiness. I know both single and not single people who are happy and live like they want to. Of course beeing single could acquire that some people feel lonely. Almost everybody wants to have a partner with whom we can share our sad and happy moments of life, but as I mentioned I think that people can be happy beeing single too. Of course it is ok not to desire a relationship. Some people just prefer beeing alone and think that relationship could constrict them. Beeing in relationship is responsible and sometimes it creates some limitations, people in relationship have to adjust to someone's style of life what is not so easy.
ReplyDeleteIt is one of the worst articles, which I’ve read. Even a quote is horrible - I read most of books written by Bukowski, and I know very well, that he can’t be authority in no matter. Whole article starts with the ANSWER, and after that author tries to prove that it isn’t a truth – „Being single may be the worst time of your life, but it can also be the best. For some, being single is loneliness, for others it means freedom and liberation.” – that phase ends discussion. But unfortunatelly, the author wrote the next part. Everything it is up to you. Being single you can feel lonely and being in the relationship you can see only limitations. It isn’t a philosophical question – it all depends on the person and it is pointlessly to proves that itsn’t.
ReplyDeleteI have been single for a few months now and I do not feel any worse because of it. Well, I like it even! I do not feel dependent on anyone and I can do what I want - to travel alone, go to parties, meet new, interesting people ... Yes, I have my cons (for example, if you are sick and nobody will do you tea, etc.), but it is worth striving to be able to cope independently in various situations.
ReplyDeleteBeing single isn't a bad thing. Everyone has the right to make a choice. For example, it's better not to be in a relationship than to have a boyfriend and not love him. It makes no sense to judge others in this matter. Everyone should take care of his lives, not the lives of others. Forcing someone to be in a relationship or marriage is just as silly as forcing someone to be a lawyer, live in the countryside, or eat strawberries for which he has allergies.
ReplyDeleteI think that emotions about being single depends on pople. Someone feel strong need to have second half and someone feel good about being alone because they feel independent and they like being alone.
ReplyDeleteOf course it's ok to not desire relstionship everyone is different and not everyone want to be in relationship. It's everyone own decision whether to look for someone or not and people can't judge their decisions
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ReplyDeleteCurrently, I am not a single, but from what I remember life did not differ significantly. I think that it is not a bad thing if someone wants to be in a relationship, but he should not look for anyone just because he wants to be in a relationship. Such things should come naturally, without anyone's pressure.
ReplyDeleteI don’t really remember how it is to be single because I’m in a happy relationship for about 3 years. Although for me being single was all about enjoying life like a single person can. I met a lot of people at that time and had fun but when I found my present boyfriend I was ready to start a new stage in my life. Now I know that being single was not for me.
ReplyDeleteI think that some people need to be single because they need this time to find get to know themselves. It's normal not to desire a relationship. You don’t need to look for your other half if you are not ready, take your time and concentrate on your needs.
I think that everybody dreams about love: finding the other half to love and to feel loved. Some of people dream of it more and some of them less but sooner or later there will be time in everybody’s life to think of it. Being single should be wonderful time invested in developing yourself but I’m afraid that many people who declare that they’ve chosen to be single just make the best of the bad bargain. They try to convince themselves they don’t need love to be happy. In this way they really can pass it up. Of course choosing the wrong person for the rest of life can be dreadful. So, where is the golden mean? I my opinion, if you are single, don’t let it bother you, use your time to develop yourself as much as you can and stay open to other people because you can find love somewhere you’ve never expected.
ReplyDeleteI am a hopeless introvert, so I enjoy being single. People tire me, and from what I've seen relationships cause more harm than good in the long run - yes, might be just bad luck. Anyway, personally I feel like it's okay not to desire a relationship. If that's something you feel like would limit you in ways, or made you less happy in the process, don't do it. Who knows, maybe you won't regret it, and it will come when it comes.
ReplyDeleteI can’t agree thet being single is better that being in a relationship. If you hit it off with your partner you should have possibility to discover yourself and fulfill your dreams as well as when you are single. However I totally agree that being single is better than being stuck in toxic relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend makes your life difficult, forbids you following your passion etc. just leave him/her. It is ok to be single and not to desire a relationship. Do want you love and focus on yourself, you don’t need a partner to be happy.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of the fact that there are a number of advantages of being single which were presented above I am inclined to believe that being single is the worst time of life. I do not understand why relationship can limit you. If there are limitations in relationship it is without faith. What is more, relationship is not a limit to traveling, eating pizza in the middle of the night or trying new things. Fulfilling dreams is possible but you do not do it on your own but together with beloved person. Obviously, that tips can be valuable for people who are miserable after breaking up. I personally claim that there are more downsides than benefits of being alone.
ReplyDeleteAuthor of this presentation has falsified image of relationship. This is true that when you are single, you have more time for yourself and you can focus only on your passion- you don’t have to be worry about anyone else, but I believe that in good relationship beloved person doesn’t forbid you to develop your interests. Love gives you a power to take actions- it encourage you to learn new things, find passion or anything else. The difference is that you can do all these things with other person. Person who you love and who loves you too. It is ok not to desire relationship, but it should be conscious decision not reaction on fake image of relationship which is built by media or „friends”.
ReplyDeleteThis article contains the information about advantages and disadvantages of being single and in relationships with somebody. The author takes into consideration different advantages of being single. To my mind, it is an individual choice of every person to be single or to be in relationships with somebody. To my mind, it is ok, not to desire a relationship because it in a choice of every person and it also gives a kind of freedom because a person is independent of everybody and can do what he wants, travel where he wants without an agreement of other person.
ReplyDeleteFor some people being alone is the best thing in their lives, but people are different, and some people do not imagine their lives without relationships. They can even make it as a sense of their life to have a partner.
That is why I can say that it is an individual choice of every person to be alone or to be in relationship.
I agree with this text, but it is not that easy. When we are single we are free and we can do everything but deep down we try a love.But when you're single, you have more time to yourself and to your hobbies. It's also nice.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was single, I had some moments when I felt sad and lonely, but generally I was happy and satisfied.
Everyone needs different time to be ready for relationship and share life with someone. So if it’s not yet, it’s ok, maybe one day you will be ready for this.
Omg, this is topic for me! I'm too afraid of being in a relationship. Really! I was reading about it and I'm too afraid to trust other people. I cannot build a good relatioship with a "potencial boyfriend" when I'm thinking about him like my boyfriend, it scares me out! I usually choose boys who would never date me (gays, taken, etc.) for my crushes. My longest relationship took me 2 months. It is not too long. I'm really afraid of my future, but we'll see!
ReplyDeleteI think that being in a relationship have a advantages and disadvantages the same like being single. When we have our soulmate we have some restrictions. We cant do everything what we want in view of love. I like to be alone because I don't have to take care of someone because there is only me and i like that deal.
ReplyDeleteRelationship comes with the age i think but we can't search for it too much because it just comes when we do not expect it.
There is nothing wrong or unusual about being single. If you don't want to be in a relationship you shouldn't feel bad about it. Some people just enjoy freedom, and they don't have any anxiety about missing out on being part of a couple.
ReplyDeleteObviously, like everyone I had moments that I was alone but I wasn't lonely and I think it's the point. I used this time maximally for myself, I knew I could have done what I desired for. I spent lots of time on outdoor activities, reading, developing my skills and I'm grateful for that part of my life. There's nothing wrong in being single, it's not a shame, it might be a conscious choice if we are ready to treat ourselves. It's just our culture which blame us for being independent and strong. And I think that's wrong.
ReplyDeleteFor me, loneliness is a very incomprehensible time. In fact, many say that we can understand ourselves and put all our thoughts in place, but in reality we become more selfish - this is proved by medical research. I completely agree, I rarely meet people who can communicate well with other people, and in our time this is necessary. Society is now prevailing. A person who knows how to manage society is stronger than a single person, and a group of people is much more important.
ReplyDeleteI can't live just on my own, lonely, without somebody by my side. I just hate it. However, I don't see being a single as something bad - I believe that there are people who are really comfortable with living alone. What is more, I don't see the point in forcing anyone to be with somebody just to not be alone. I think that this is everyone's choice and people should respect the fact, that somebody just feels better when lives alone.
ReplyDeleteMy Ex-boyfriend is back for good
ReplyDeleteThanks for restoring my relationship,
I am the happiest lady on earth,
Never too late to fix your broken heart.
You can still get your lover back…
Fix broken relationship/marriage…
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